Final Project

I shot myself, first, dead by hanging, because I, like most humans, sometimes wish I was dead. But I do it more than most (only a little more, don't worry :p ), and this strikes me as childish. So I expanded on the idea by making my death image merely a photograph which I am viewing quizzically.

The death image came out better than the photoshopped image, just in terms of aesthetics. See what I mean about concept destroying visual appeal for me?

That being said, I don't actually dislike either image as an image. I dislike them both for not being better, obviously, and for not being good, but I look at them and I find some value.

And, in the end, I prefer the hanging photo. I printed both, but I decided, for once in this course, to choose the photo that means less to me but looks better. So the hanging is my final. The other one is sort of a supplement that tells the story of what I did to get there.

Portfolio and reflection

I assembled my portfolio over the last few days. It was a horrible experience, because I managed to go through the entire semester trying very hard and thinking about the concepts behind my images for hours, yet producing no aesthetically pleasing images. A well thought out concept has proven, for me, a death knell for visual appeal.

However, I do think that my images improved over the course of the semester, from unknowingly awful to awful but aware of itself. I guess I mean I learned that I don't take very good photographs naturally.

However, I like it. I've been using Robert's camera throughout the semester, and I'm getting the camera he has as my Christmas present, because I want to take a good picture some day.

That being said, I expect a bad grade in this class because it has the standards of a high level college art class. I'm not sure how it is that I wandered into such a hard art class, where everyone else seems to be an artist, either by training or proclivity. It should say in the course catalogue, "This class might just not be for you," to warn the incapable away. (I guess I hope you'll be kind when grading me, Professor Morales.)

I mean, as someone who has no background in art whatsoever, who was hoping to learn about art before I started trying to make it, I felt like I never quite caught up with the rest of the class, no matter how I tried, because I was trying to figure out what art even was first. I tried so hard to do conceptual stuff, and then I would go in for critique and a "concept" as I understand it--something verbal--wouldn't have anything to do with the things that made most of my classmate's work good, things like leading lines and pattern and texture. I had no idea. It seemed like every time we turned in a project, there was something about visual appeal and aesthetics I should have known, because everyone else knew it.

I wouldn't have minded being put beside all these superior artists, though, if I felt like I had any business whatsoever being in this class. But I was judged by everyone as if I were already at or should already be at the same level as the rest of the class.

Now I must explain my portfolio. I included a few extra photos for some of the projects, and then at the end of image within image I added a few extra extra that didn't fit a project as well, but I liked as images. So I kept them.

Zoe

This is the photo I referred to in my last post. That's my youngest sister, Zoe, reflected in an anniversary photo of my grandparents.

Consume

Four of my five images for the image within image project are related. I went to HEB with the intention of relating them to my fifth image--which is of my 7 year old sister, gazing at a photo of our grandparents sweetly--by taking pictures of kids. But the only place in HEB I could find kids was in the video game area, where they were all playing Call of Duty. Which is really violent. So I started noticing how HEB is sort of a giant vat of creepy consumerism. That's what these pictures ended up being about. The first image I love because it's like, food and video games are both merely products. Sustenance has no greater or lesser weight than does a car video game. The second image is great because the kid has a Santa hat--bringing Christmas and all that consumerism into a juxtaposition with the violent video game he's playing as he sets his sights on someone to get the head shot.

Inspiration

As a caveat, I would like to apologize for not posting this earlier. I was having a lot of trouble finding photographers without actually knowing the names of any. As for the post before this, I thought I'd already done it. Please forgive me, as I have in fact been shooting and looking.

Julia Margaret Cameron--This woman's portraits are subtle, but the little things about them keep the images in your head. The way some subjects are looking into the shot, but others are looking out of it, give the impression that while some people have vision others do not. The colors are often verging on monochromatic in her portraits, and the close crops she gives most of her subjects, I hear, helped to change the way portraits have been taken since her work.

Eddie Adams--A photo journalist, I'm obviously captivated by the way he got close to human grief and violence over and over again in the Vietnam war.

Jane Fulton Alt--This woman's photos evoke, for me, the word "embryonic." They heavily feature things like water and eggs, yet without that obvious imagery I would still use that word, indicating the unity of her intentions, in my opinion.

Perspective

I went around Trinity and then around downtown for my perspective project, because I had already shot in those places. I wanted to see if I saw anything new when looking for new perspectives. The funny thing is that I got some new photos, but then I also decided to turn in some old photos for project 4. Perspective is something you can't avoid.

Dia De Los Muertos

I went to a Dia de los Muertos celebration on Nov. 2. I had to use the flash a lot, which was unfortunate.

Nature that's . . . in an urban setting . . .

I shot these photos one day because the light was just absolutely delicious in this area and I wanted to. It's nature on Trinity campus, so it's sort of urban, but it's mostly just pretty.

Playing

This girl was playing in the water fountain outside the courthouse downtown. She was using her cereal bowl as a boat and playing Poseidon by sinking it and raising it from the depths repeatedly.

Infrastructure

I went downtown to take photos of people and plants, and ended up taking these two as well. They're actually my favorites. And, fortunately, there are sort of plants in both, so they're urban nature.

Downtown Flora

Some downtown flora, plus littering!

Rafters

This is also at La Cantera. I love the fusion of the rafters with the leaves.

Leaves and Light

At La Cantera. I like this image. I don't even feel the need to talk about it.

Many Faces

This little girl was busy making faces at my sister when I walked up to the two of them. So I took pictures of her. If Lacey, my sister, made a happy face, the girl hid. If my sister made a sad face, the girl screeched as if trying to ask her something.

The middle photo, as you can probably tell, is blurred. I blurred it to see if I could make her look like a 1940s movie star. Did it work?

Urban Nature

The combination of the natural with the urban was fun to play with. My favorite is the pole in the midst of leaves and flowers.

Unsuspecting Man

Most of the pedestrians I shot knew I was shooing them. But this guy was really far away and he didn't see me. I thought he was interesting, though, with the leaves behind him and his obvious, obvious boredom.

Balloon Mermaid

The man was making an Ariel the Mermaid balloon for the little girl. She was rapt by his movements. I tried to get the moment when he gave her the completed mermaid, but it was out of focus.

Acorn

For the urban nature assignment, I was going to drive downtown, but as I was passing the portion of Trinity near the admissions office I saw a palm tree I wanted to shoot. While shooting the palm tree, though, I saw this acorn, and became obsessed.

Lacey Allison Barkhurst

This doesn't fit into any assignment, because though I was at the mall shooting pedestrians, this is my sister. She was looking at her phone, an act that can elicit a wider range of emotions from her than anything else on earth. She looks sad. She insists she wasn't. She is a teenager.

Sliders

These are some of the photos I took for the pedestrians assignment. I went to La Cantera, the mall, to take picture of people, and found a playground. There was an epically rousing game of slide going on amongst a group of children who all seemed to have become the best of friends, within the last hour or so. Of their little band, the top one seemed to be a leader. She was a little intimidating. The one on bottom was the smallest of the lot. She was unsure whether she was afraid or amused and above it all.

Photoshop that Cup!

I liked the cup, with the bubbles, from my previous post. However, the background was competing with my bubbles. So I, in primo amateur form, went into photoshop and did weird things. However, it looks better, I think. :P I masked the background and turned it black and white. It was an experiment.

Bird

I apologize for this disturbing image. The reason I photographed it is a long story. First, I once saw a bird die on the ground. It's little eye closed and its little blue body stopped its quick breathing. Ever since then, I cry pretty much whenever I see a dead bird. On top of that, I've always hated the term "still life." It sounds to me like something that died, not something that was never alive. So when I was given a still life assignment, and I saw this bird, I decided to photograph it for my still life assignment. It was sort of a confronting my fears type of thing. Yes, it sounds cheesy. Yes, I am probably more of a verbal person than a visual one.

Girl Jungle

So I had that cup. It had little beads of air on the inside, like happens to water when it's been sitting in a cup overnight. I loved the way they looked, with the great blue of that cup. So I shot the cup. But then I was looking at it, sitting there in the context of my dressing table, and it looked like a jungle of necklaces. So I shot it like that. And, there I am, in the mirror. I didn't notice that originally, but I like how I don't look like I know I'm being photographed (I didn't), so that it looks like someone taking photos of wild . . . cups . . . in a girl jungle.

Ripples

Another scarf. I'm really into texture on the light table.

Pillar Blur

I have to admit, this photo has no photographic value, but it a) looks cool and b) is what I was going for. I wanted to catch the pillars as they changed colors but as I was moving (I was in a car) so tat the colors would blur together and create a continuum. Blue to purple.